Laura Sullivant Sterk - My Life Unchained

2012 !

2012-02-22T16:41:00.002-06:00

Wow! The time sure has flown over the last few months!
We had a busy Christmas/New Year's, then back to the old grind-stone with work and school.

I've had a few comments sent in asking if my story was over or if this was the end.

In case you've missed it, the title of my blog is 'My Life Unchained'.
I don't know about you, but I can still feel my heart beating...So I think my life is still goin' strong! :)

Just because I'm not constantly filling you in on my deepest, darkest secrets, doesn't mean I'm done, I'm just very busy. (three children 6 and under, a full-time job, and a life kinda make me busy!)

Living a life unchained doesn't mean that there won't be hardships or even heart break. Leaning and depending on God for all your needs is key when dealing with life.

I heard something today from a friend of mine, 'Pessimists look at a glass as being half empty, while Optimists look at it as half full...How 'bout we just be glad that we have a glass at all?'

I believe that there are too many 'Christians' out there that are looking at things from the wrong perspective.
Are we focusing so much on the negative things going on in our lives, that we ignore reality?
Or are we living in a bit of a dream land instead of actually putting our words to action?

I would associate negativity with pride. I realize that that may be a bit much for some to handle, but keep in mind that every one of us has an issue with pride in one form or another. It is how we handle it that helps us become mature adults.

Are the insults, gossip, and insinuations going to sting? Of course!!
But we have to remind ourselves, that the other person is still a human being. That they may also have a hurting heart, and as hard as it may seem we need to view those that hurt us the way God views them.

I Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

It's not a sin to ignore those that are hurting you...Pray for them, then move on with your life.

Yes, its one of those things that is easier said than done...But if you try and keep the burden on yourself, it will eat you up and bitterness will creep in.

I know that there are MANY people out there that fully expected my blog to 'hurt' my father, or even close his church down.
That wasn't and is still not my intention.

I am extremely thankful that I have been able to connect with, relate to, and help so many others out there that are hurting.

What Are You Thankful For ?

2011-10-13T15:00:00.000-05:00

What with this past weekend being Thanksgiving, I'm sure we've all had people asking us this question.

Some of the obvious answers I think we've all heard or even said ourselves are our homes, children, spouses, salvation, church, etc, etc.

However, have you ever thought to actually thank God for the trials that He has allowed you to deal with and go through? Or have you become bitter and disgruntled over those things?

I can't say that I am covered by armor that protects me from some of the harsh comments from some of you. I am (after all) human and have feelings like anybody else.

I know that for myself, the things that God has ALLOWED to happen to me throughout my entire life have made me into more of the person that HE wants me to be.

Looking at the fact that my relationship with my mom has been dissolved, it has changed my heart as a mother myself.
I am taking the time to not care as much if my house is spotless (which it RARELY is) and spending more time when my girls want to cuddle, play outside, or just sit and watch a movie with me.

I thank God every day for my children and the great joy they bring to my life.

With my siblings no longer being in my life, it has made me much more patient inside.
Yes, I can train horses and deal my little ones patiently, but when it came to other things my heart wasn't nearly as patient.
I know that God has and is working in my brothers' and sister's hearts and that one day I will be able to get together with them as a family and that our children will finally get to know each other.

It has been said that I need to get down and go to them and talk, but that has already been done on my part.
I have found peace in knowing that I have done what I need to, to bring reconciliation between my siblings and I. The rest is off my shoulders.

I will not lie just so that there can be a good relationship, that goes against everything I believe and what the Bible teaches.

I have been blessed to have a little communication (although not always positive) with a few of my brothers.
And I thank God for being able to keep close with the majority of my extended family down in the U.S., even in the midst of the storm I have found true family and friends.

I am constantly being honed and refined into the woman that I need to be, and tho it hurts alot at times I know that as long as I stay close to Him I will continue to grow and mature.

So, the next time you start to feel over-whelmed with something(s) that's going on in your life, just remember that nothing happens that God doesn't have to allow first.

And no matter what it is that you're having to deal with, if you stay close to Him you will be better for it.

September 30th, 2011

2011-09-30T00:50:00.000-05:00

I heard something quite amusing this past week.

Apparently, there's a rumor going around that my blog has been shut down due to police investigation.

While I have no idea if the police are interested in my blog, it is definitely still up and running. :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It has been a busy summer, and now that my two oldest have started grade 1 life has again changed for me as a mom.

I am currently part of a moms' group here at our church, and this morning we had a guest speaker come in and talk to us about what GOD wants for our children and their futures.
She said that even though we may see a natural talent in our child, want them to follow in our footsteps, or even change what WE may think is a bad personality trait, how we 'train' or talk to our child has a huge impact on his/her future.

I was immediately brought back to the time when I was about 9 years old and my fathers' church held a missions conference.
There were some missionaries on their way to Kenya, Africa and I felt such a burden for those little kids in the poor areas.
I remember going forward and surrendering my life to the mission field of Africa. I also had a massive love for science and pretty-much all things that had to do with nature, dirt, animals, medicine, (oh yeah, I could go on and on)
So I decided that not only would I be a missionary to Africa, I would be a missionary DOCTOR to Africa!

I remember seeing my parents on several occasions, bragging to people that were passing through or just some of the new people that they were getting to know, that their oldest child was going to be a missionary doctor to Africa.
I could always hear the great pride in my moms' voice as she would talk to her friends about my 'calling'.

I can't remember the exact year that it was, but I do remember finding out that in order to become a doctor you had to 'endure' at least 7 years of college/university....I remember looking at my mom and saying, "NO WAY!!!"
That was just too much schooling for this girl!
I then decided that I would become a nurse. There was a hospital that had a two year nursing course, so I thought that it would be perfect for me.

As the years went on, the desire and 'calling' didn't seem nearly as strong or clear to me. Yes, I had compassion for the children and families in war torn areas of Africa, but the desire and longing to go and help felt like it was fading away.

I know that my mom is still extremely disappointed in me because of my decision to not become a missionary in a foreign field.
But I am quite a stubborn/strong-willed individual (in case you all haven't noticed), and I believe that God did give me that desire and calling in my life as a child to keep me focused on something that was totally God centered.

I NEEDED something like that to stay on the 'straight and narrow' as they call it. God knew that, as He knows all His children inside and out.

a lot
No one else could get a person through such hard times and trials as I and others have had to endure at the hands of my own flesh and blood.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it.

For quite some time now, I have viewed that verse differently. Not just because of my own life experiences but also because of how I look at my Beautifuls.(that's what I call my daughters)

When we look at that verse and see that it says 'the way he should go', I believe that too many of us parents are the ones deciding what the 'way' is for our children's' lives.

How do we as mere human beings know what GOD'S plan is for our children??

I've told a few friends of this particular story, but now I'll fill you in too. I believe that it may help some of the mothers out there. ('cause I know it helped me)

car-seats
I would envision us getting into a car accident of some sort, and not being able to escape, etc.

Then one morning as I was heading home from milking at a dairy farm, it hit me... Who was I to be so concerned with these crazy fears of mine, when they're not my children...They're GOD'S!
I had to pull the car over because I started to cry so much.
I was supposed to care, nurture, and protect my beautifuls, but it wasn't any of my business to concern myself with the things that were out of my control.

I (for some reason) was blessed enough by God Himself to give me these three little lives to raise for Him.
To do whatever HE wants them to.

Even those little babies that God has seen fit to take back to Himself were blessings to the parents for the short time they were here.

I love my daughters SO MUCH, but it would be bad for them if I were to concern myself with earthly desires that I may have for their lives/futures.

All THREE of my beautifuls are strong-willed and stubborn. (JUST LIKE ME!!)
But I can also say, from personal experience, that being strong-willed and stubborn can give amazing results when aimed in the direction that God has given.

Have I slipped along the way? Oh yeah! But God is merciful, and gracious, and...believe it or not....He loves us more than any love you can or will experience here on earth.

Though my girls may not (probably won't) always do what I think is the right thing to do, I hope that I can be a guiding and strong influence in their lives so that they can look at their mom and her life and say, 'I want to be like my mom and serve God!'

August 18, 2011

2011-08-18T02:49:00.000-05:00

The last several months have been VERY interesting for me, to say the least!
When I started this blog, I kind of figured it would ruffle a few feathers but I had NO idea as to how big it would really get.

I can honestly say, in spite of the threats and 'insinuations' of lawsuits and what-not, that I do not regret anything that I have and will write on my blog.

This is my life and my story, no one can take that away from me.

Now that I have children of my own, I cannot imagine NOT standing up for what is right.

Not too long ago, I had one of my daughters ask me why I ran away from home when I was younger. It was really the first time that this particular subject had come up.
It didn't take long, but after a short (vague) explanation, another one of my girls piped up..."So that's why we're not supposed to talk to anyone we don't know...Because you want to keep us safe!"

I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief.....After somewhat fearing how and what I would say to my children regarding my family 'situation', my super smart girls 'got it'!

Neither my father,mother, nor any of my siblings have met my daughters.
I would LOVE for my mom to be able to meet her twin grand-daughters...But that will never happen if I'm not allowed to be there.

I know that my mom always wanted to have twins as her last children, and to not be able to share my joys and trials of actually having twins myself gets to be quite hard.

Not a day goes by that I don't wish I had my mom to turn to...To share my inner-most thoughts and feelings with.

I love my mom VERY MUCH and no matter what, that will never change.
Even though I cannot understand how she can turn away from her oldest daughter, I do not and cannot fault her for that. She doesn't know any different.

Even though it has been almost 13 years since I 'ran away', the pain is still there. It's just a matter of how you deal with that pain that God will use you.

August 5, 2011 My Story Is Not Over Yet

2011-08-05T22:08:00.002-05:00

I've had a few people asking if this is it? If this is the end to my story?

My answer is a definitive NO!

It has been a VERY busy summer, and frankly, I've needed to take a bit of a break from all the harrassment I've received on here.

I saw a piece of recent correspondence between my husband and a member of my family. (I will not say who)
In it, this person said, (and I quote)

" It is commendable and expected that you would stand with Laura. Knowing what you think you know anyone would do the same. In the coming days and months as the wheels of truth turn and more comes to light she will need all the support she can get. The blog is a perfect example and now with so much that has been said and in print more can be dealt with as lies and deceit are exposed for what they are. As people state things those issues become record and verifiable and defensible. Laura knows the truth and one day she will have to prove it. "

I have to say that I TOTALLY agree with the author!

As much as I can see this was POSSIBLY intended as a threat, this is all very true.

My blog (as well as Pete Reimer's) is a perfect example of how the truth can and will set a person free.

Lies and deceit are being uncovered and individuals and families have and are being set free.

Something that we need to continue to be careful of, is to not be doing anything in a spirit of revenge or 'right fighting'.

If we jump ahead of ourselves and decide to take matters into our own hands, then we can be putting a block in front of what the Holy Spirit has intended to do.

Proverbs 24:17-18

17 Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth:

18Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him.

I have tried my best to tell my story as truthfully as I can, I'm not trying to lie and twist things to my advantage.

These are just my accounts of what I personally experienced.

My children are now 6 and 3 and have already asked me a couple of questions regarding why I ran away from home. After some discussion, I was relieved that they 'got' it!

My girls are very smart and extremely intuitive, and there's not a whole lot I can keep from them (Although I will say that they do NOT know everything regarding my situation!)

No matter what kind of 'dirt' I've had slung at and about me from some of my siblings, I still have hope that I and my children will be able to reunite with them on GOOD terms one day.

Someone had commented to me quite a while ago, as to how it was kind of sad that it had to be me that brought so much out into the open.

My answer to her was, "why NOT me?" I've been gone for quite a few years now, I have been successful in the workplace, have an awesome church family, and have three beautiful children who love Jesus and continue to learn about Him.

I do not claim to be a 'mature Christian', I have so much more to learn and discover, but I feel honored that God has already used my story to help SEVERAL others.

I also want to say a BIG thank you to those that have sent me the sweet and encouraging messages, I appreciate it a lot!

Please feel free to continue writing!

June 19, 2011

2011-06-19T11:18:00.000-05:00

Even though I don't need to defend myself, based on some of the comments thrown both on this blog and others,I feel I should clear something up.

I and two other pastors set up a meeting that was to be with JUST my mother and father.
When we arrived at my dads' church, my father had ALL of his deacons there as well as Dr. Dell.

My situation WAS to be a family matter, but my father himself decided to make it a church matter.
He was confronted by myself AND two pastoral witnesses in front of his own deacons.

I did as the Bible commands we as believers to do,but was only treated as a rebellious daughter and was not taken seriously by those in leadership at that time.

I have, and am still seeking counselling in this entire matter.
I would strongly advise any and all others who have suffered as I have to also get counselling.

You are not alone.

Pete Reimer's Story ~ Part 2

2011-05-18T09:12:00.000-05:00

Part two of my story is where you will all get to see who Pete Reimer really is.

I have a tendency to say it how it is and usually I'm not too worried about whether or not someone actually likes me or not.
Through my life experiences I have come to realize that most Christians have no idea how God handled the Christian leaders who misrepresented Christ and his church.

While being a Youth Pastor, I realized that God held me to a higher level of accountability than those I was to Minister to,council, work with, and take care of. I realized that it was not a position to be taken lightly and that I would need to answer to the pastor and many youth and parents for the decisions that I made.
I would have to give account to many for all teachings,activities,finances,and the youths well being.

These are all normal things that any person would expect from any pastor, so why should I be any different? Why should any pastor be any different?

They shouldn't and that's where my story Part two begins!!

I will start off by asking a few questions...

#1. What would you do if you knew you had the truth to many unanswered questions about church situations and dealings that people needed to hear about for their well being?

#2. What would you do if these situations involved your pastor and some of the deacons?

#3. Now, what would you do if you did as the Bible states and even took two other pastors with you then found out that the pastor then went to the church and accused you of lying,slander,bad mouthing other church goers, and told everyone that you where living in sin so no one was to associate with you any longer?

These are just a few of the things that I experienced when I first confronted PMS about several serious concerns that I had noticed and witnessed.

I was often told that it was just hear-say. I was even told on many occasions that they would prove to me that they were blameless, I'm still waiting to see their proof.
Not once was I ever shown any proof of the truth behind their statements.

I brought witnesses and proof of my concerns only to have them torn up and thrown in the trash or told that if these people{witnesses} were to speak, they would have to leave the meetings.
It was asked of me who these other pastors where that attended my meetings.

I knew I would need men with good standing and of good report to stand behind me, so I chose wisely.

The first man I had join in the meetings with me, was Pastor Alan Brooks.
He was my college professor, and a close friend. I helped him start up his church in Winnipeg, MB and spent much time learning from his years of experience in the ministry.
His family has always been very dear to us and we admire him for the work and hardships that he and his family endured while in Manitoba.
I am repulsed at the way that Pms has treated him and his family, and disgusted with the lack of respect and dignity shown towards them.
Pastor Brooks was and is loved by many and he is known for his wisdom, honesty, dignity,great preaching and love for the Lord's work.
I have spent many a hunting trip with him and his family and always appreciated their friendship and help .

The second man that attended some of the meetings with us, is Dr Pastor Raymond Dell.
This is one of the wisest men that I have ever had the privilege of knowing.
He has years of experience in the ministry as a pastor, church planter,college professor,music teacher,Sunday school teacher, Etc.
He has sacrificed his life to do the work of God. He gave of his time,experience,knowledge, finances,resources,and everything else that was in him to give.
Once again I'm totally disgusted with the way that PMS treated and disrespected this man.
He was lied about, abused, and falsely accused of many things.

When I take a look at what PMS has done to myself and these men I see PMS's true identity.
PMS has had to dis-credit us so that the truth wouldn't get out for others to hear or see.

PMS destroyed the life of the Brooks and their ministry in Wpg.

PMS lied about Dr. Dell and dis-credited him and ruined his ministry.

PMS lied about me and dis-credited me to the entire church. All just so that the truth wouldn't get out.

How could all three of us being in the ministry all be wrong, all be lying, all living in sin?
I'll tell you why, so that no one would come to us to hear the truth behind what's been going on for all these years.

Dr.Dell called me up one day and asked for me to meet with him and I agreed.
When we met he asked if I knew about the meeting that PMS, Laura and himself attended in the U.S.A.
I told him that I heard about them going but wasn't sure what came of it.
Then Dr. Dell proceeded to tell me everything that took place during this entire trip and meeting.
He told me that he felt that it was important for me to know what really happened.
After he finished telling me the truth to what actually happened he said, "Pete, I never thought I'd ever say this, but PMS is the biggest liar,deceiver and manipulator that I have ever seen in all my years of being in the ministry. He has lied about everything and has asked me to do the same regarding Laura."

He also told me, that after witnessing what he had during this meeting, he would honestly question PMS's salvation.
He couldn't believe how a saved man pastoring a church could go on and lie about the things he did and use one lie to hide behind another lie.

Tell me something,what would you do if this is what had happened to you?
Dr.Dell was an honest man, a respectful man, he has had a good track record, well respected and appreciated in Canada, U.S.A. and world wide.
Why would he lie about something like this?
Why do you think PMS lied about Dr.Dell, and falsely accused him?

The things that PMS has done so that the truth wouldn't be revealed.
Dr.Dell has now passed on to be with his Lord and Saviour and is missed by many, but I believe he told me the truth to Laura's meeting so that I too would know, and make it possible so that I could share it so that others too would know the truth.

I know that it is hard for me to share all the things that I have experienced while at PVBC, but I honestly believe that if people even knew 1/4 of what I do they would question things too.

I'm sure many will choose to dis-credit that which I shared but trust me, when I recall all that I know, I have barely even started to share my experiences.

One thing that I always want for everyone to know and realize, is that these are MY EXPERIENCES and the things that I have witnessed .
I don't share my stories to destroy a church but I will share how certain people in PVBC have destroyed my life and the lives of many others.

Pete Reimer.

My Friend - Pete Reimer's Story ~ Part 1 (in his own words)

2011-05-05T23:13:00.001-05:00

When I was first asked to share my experiences and tell my story I wasn't sure I wanted to rehash all that I have seen and experienced.

I have seen and heard many other people's stories and experiences and must say I'm not one bit surprised to see what is taking place.

I know many will not be able to truly and fully understand, or believe things which I will be sharing however, I feel that God did place me into many positions at PVBC for several reasons, and regardless of what others think, the time has come for me to start sharing what I have been through and experienced.

I would like to start off by saying that the things which I will be sharing are MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES, and can only comment on those situations from which I have seen, heard, been involved in and experienced first hand.
Although I will refrain from many details which I am not at liberty to share at this time, I will try and share as much as possible as God gives me the liberty to do so.

I started off at PVBC looking to find a Bible preaching,teaching, and living church where my family and I could worship the Lord in freedom and honesty.
As many others I had lived a past that I wasn't proud of and now I was ready to clean-up my act and do what I could to serve the Lord.
Not long after we joined church membership and faithfully attended all services possible.
I was very familiar with the Sullivant family, seeing how they came to many of our family gatherings such as Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, and family Birthdays.

Shortly after joining the church My wife and myself were asked to help out Gary and Lisa with the youth and we agreed to do so.
This is where we first had the opportunity to know the youth and many families in the church.
After some time, Mike asked me to take the youth Pastor position because he had noticed that the youth had taken a liking to my wife and myself over Gary and Lisa therefore he had asked them to take over the Pastor position in Trehern MB.

I told Mike that I felt inadequate for this position but he assured me that this was what I needed to do, so I agreed .

Here is where Mike began to try and mold me into one of his own although at first I had no idea what he was doing.

When we first took over the youth Pastor position we had approximately 15- 20 youth and they didn't always all show up so the numbers varied.
With God's help we worked hard to make youth a fun, exciting, and enjoyable place for youth to come to and we saw the number of youth attendance go up to over 125 youth in under 1 year.
We knew God had blessed us with a gift to work with the youth.
Within approximately a years time, the church started CBBC and I attended this school for a B/T.

I now was involved in church and Bible school all but 2 days a month which I got off.

Here is where I would like to share some important information with everyone.

Much has been said about Laura, Discrediting her, falsely accusing her, calling her a liar, and so on. I knew Laura from a young age.
My wife and I were her Sunday school teachers, her youth Pastor, and friends.
I have seen her weakness and strengths, her dreams, her failures and success,her good times and bad times. I've known most if not all her boy-friends, her girl-friends,her likes and dis-likes.
I know her church life, her home life, and have stayed in touch with her throughout all these years.
One thing that I can say is that she has never been good at telling a lie with out it bothering her so much that she wouldn't go make things right.
She has a thing for honesty even if it gets her or someone else into trouble.
She along side her brothers, always had a desire to serve the Lord and to the best of my knowledge they are all serving God to the best of their ability even today.
They may have different beliefs and convictions, but I believe they are doing the best they can with what they have been given, taught, and told.
I know that people have no idea what this young woman has all been through and has had to experience.

The day she ran away from home and asked for me to pick her up, I knew that Mike had finally drawn the final straw with her.

I'd like to say that I was surprised but I wasn't.

My experiences working with and beside Mike showed me a side to him that many people have never seen, and those that have wish they didn't know.

The question has often been asked if any one has ever gone to Mike to confront him about his side.
Well believe me, I have.

At first when I noticed questionable situations, I approached him as a Fellow Pastor and Friend, all to no avail.

I then Prayed and searched the Scriptures in order to find answers on how to confront him. I then went to see Mike with another member, then another Pastor, Then two other Pastors. I have had many meetings and discussions with Mike and asked Him on several occasions to make things right only for him to tell me to stop fellowship with these other men and Pastors,and ask me if I was still tithing, tell me I was in sin, and tell me I had no right to question him.

Well, according to Titus 1:6-16 I have God's authority to question even my Pastor if I believe he is in sin.

I have been lied to from Mike on many occasions,I have brought Him proof of all my concerns and he refuses to acknowledge the proof.

When I brought him papers to show the proof he has torn them up and thrown them in the trash without even reading them.
When I brought other Pastors as witnesses, he has told them to leave or told them they were not allowed to speak.

For meetings, he has told me to come alone while he has brought all his deacons to defend him and hide behind.

Through my experiences I have come to know that He is a habitual liar,abuser,control addict, deceiver, and manipulator.

I know all to well who this man is especially behind closed doors.
He is accountable to no one.
No, not the church,or the deacons.
He is the final authority in his so called church.

I have many other Pastors, Councilors, and fellow believers who would testify the same.

I think that working as close as I did with this man for the years that I did have a pretty good idea who he is. I had a much closer and intense relationship with Mike than most people ever will.
I have been and continue to be threatened and have myself and my business defamed continually.
I am sure this will continue because Mike, and some of his deacons and friends, wish to shut me up because they know I have seen, heard, and witnessed things that they don't want revealed.

My concerns aren't with the church, only those in leadership who know they have gone astray and sinned, but refuse to confess and make things right, and continue to falsely accuse others.
It has been to easy for you for too long to turn the tables on others and discipline any one who stands up against you.
Innocent people have been deceived and hurt and had their families and friends torn away from them.

And this is a non-Biblical practice.
It is bullying people in order to control them, it is abuse, and I along with Jason and Laura and MANY others will take a stand against what has and is continuing to go on at PVBC.
Peoples' lives have been destroyed from the results and effects of there experiences at PVBC.

Pete & Connie Reimer - A Couple Who Helped Me

2011-05-05T23:12:00.001-05:00

This particular post is one I am glad to put up.

Pete Reimer and his wife Connie are a couple that I respect and consider blessed to be their friend.

They were first my adoptive 'aunt' and 'uncle'
It was actually difficult for me to start calling them 'Mr. Pete and Miss Connie'.

All through the years, I felt that I could talk to them about pretty-much anything.

When they were 'church disciplined', I was already 18 and therefore allowed to sit in on the members' meeting regarding their being 'disciplined'.

My father, Mike Sullivant D.D., came down from the platform and paced along the front of the auditorium.
He proceeded to apologize for the church 'having to follow thru with the rites of church discipline regarding Pete and Connie Reimer'

I didn't know what to say, or to think?!?!
They had been such a huge part of my childhood/teen life...this can't be right!

Mike Sullivant D.D. proceeded to tell the members, that they (Pete and Connie) and been spreading and telling numerous lies about various members of the congregation.
I just sat there,beside my mom in the pew.

Since leaving the church, I have now been able to get THEIR side of the story. It is far different than what the members were told that night.

If it weren't for Pete and Connie Reimer, I don't know what would have happened.

That last night of my being trapped and guarded, I called a friend of mine using the phone in the hall at the church.
I would quickly talk to her for about a minute or so, then hang up...Wait a few minutes as a deacon came and talked to me.
Called my friend again and she suggested calling Pete and Connie to come get me. I JUMPED at the chance!!
After several short little phone calls to my friend, it was decided.

I put my duster and hat on, grabbed a calendar that someone had given me, and looked over at my baby brother Jeremy in his adorable little suit and tie.

I slowly walked down the road to a car repair place less than a block from the church, and hid behind a tree and waited for Pete and Connie to pick me up.
They took me to the college in Altona, which is where I had been living up 'til that point, so that I could get my clothing and more of my belongings.
My father had had someone change the locks so I couldn't get my things and we left.

I thank the Lord for putting Pete and Connie in my life, not just because of how they helped me get away, but also because of their testimony, leadership, and friendship

I am allowing Pete to tell some of his story here on my blog.
He has some outside knowledge that even I was not aware of while attending the college, that directly pertains to my life's story.

He will be able to shed some more light and give another point of view as to what went on.

Why

2011-05-03T01:00:00.001-05:00

I have been asked by several of you, as to why I have chosen to share my story now....12 years after the fact.

My goal is NOT to spread 'slander' (I absolutely LOVE how some people like to use that word!) My hope and prayer, is that by writing this blog I can help another daughter,or mother,wife, man, and son, to see the Truth.

God has given EACH of us strength. No matter who you are, or who your parents might be...HE (God) has given you a brain and the ability to use it.

No, I'm not encouraging rebellion!

But when you are being told or encouraged to do things that go against the BIBLE, no matter how direct or indirect, we as Christians NEED to do something about it.

I have heard about another particular story that is similar to mine, where this girl called the police and had them wait outside her parents' home while she packed her bags to leave.
I applaud her for knowing that she had a right to leave!

I myself had no idea that I could even leave legally, let alone be able to call the authorities. I whole-heartedly believe that my life would have turned out MUCH different had I known what to do!

I KNOW I am not perfect! But I WILL however, strive to be like my Lord Who IS perfect!

I know what I believe, and I stand FIRM in that belief!

I Am Not Ashamed

2011-04-29T11:58:00.003-05:00

1 Corinthians 4:1-5 (King James Version)

1 Corinthians 4

¹Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God.
²Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.
³But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man's judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self.
⁴For I know nothing by myself; yet am I not hereby justified: but he that judgeth me is the Lord.
⁵Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.

I realize that there are a few people on here that are trying to scare others into not making comments.
Although I do agree that some of the comments have been rude and uncalled for, I do not agree with trying to shut people up by scaring and threatening them.

When a person is doing the will of God, we are to expect ridicule and persecution.

It is out of the need to protect others that I have started this blog (as I have mentioned in earlier posts)
It would be wrong for me to just 'let it be' when there are so many others that are hurting.

I want to protect my brothers and sisters in Christ

1 Thessalonians 2:3-13

³For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor of uncleanness, nor in guile:
⁴But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts.
⁵For neither at any time used we flattering words, as ye know, nor a cloke of covetousness; God is witness:
⁶Nor of men sought we glory, neither of you, nor yet of others, when we might have been burdensome, as the apostles of Christ.
⁷But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children:
⁸So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us.
⁹For ye remember, brethren, our labour and travail: for labouring night and day, because we would not be chargeable unto any of you, we preached unto you the gospel of God.
¹⁰Ye are witnesses, and God also, how holily and justly and unblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe:
¹¹As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children,
¹²That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory.
¹³For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe.

I cannot speak for those that have chosen to comment, but for myself and what I have done, I am not ashamed.

If my telling my story has ruffled feathers, then so be it.
When I go to my church, I don't expect to always get a pat on the back for being such a 'good Christian'. I expect to get my toes stepped on.(sometimes it feels more like they're being stomped on)

If you're feeling so uncomfortable, and ill-at-ease about something that is said and/or reported,
could it be, that the Holy Spirit is stepping on your toes a little?

If we are truly innocent, then words mean nothing.

God is a just and righteous judge, He knows everything that is going on even if it is behind closed doors.

Due to numerous email responses I have received, I KNOW my blog has been instrumental in helping so many.
I thank God for using my story and life experiences to help others.

I will not back down because of threats

April 27, 2011

2011-04-27T01:23:00.000-05:00

(Excerpt from Wikipedia)

Hate speech laws in Canada

In Canada, advocating genocide or inciting hatred^[10] against any 'identifiable group' is an indictable offence under the Criminal Code of Canada with maximum prison terms of two to fourteen years. An 'identifiable group' is defined as 'any section of the public distinguished by colour, race, religion, ethnic origin or sexual orientation.' It makes exceptions for cases of statements of truth, and subjects of public debate and religious doctrine. The landmark judicial decision on the constitutionality of this law was R. v. Keegstra (1990)

(Below is taken from the Criminal Code of Canada)

Section 319(3) identifies acceptable defences. Indicates that no person shall be convicted of an offence if the statements in question:

are established to be true
were relevant to any subject of public interest, the discussion of which was for the public benefit, and if on reasonable grounds it was believed to be true
were expressed in good faith, it was attempted to establish by argument and opinion on a religious subject
were expressed in good faith, it was intended to point out, for the purpose of removal, matters tending to produce feelings of hatred toward an identifiable group in Canada

http://www.media-awareness.ca/english/resources/legislation/canadian_law/federal/criminal_code/criminal_code_hate.cfm

My reason for posting the above article from the Criminal Code of Canada, is because of a phone call I recently received from someone in leadership at the Pembina Valley Baptist Church.

He said, that if they did not see a "marked change in your blog" they had grounds to sue me for "in-sighting hatred".

I do not appreciate being threatened and told that "as I'm sure you are aware,we have several business men that attend the church."

I am not against the Pembina Valley Baptist Church, I am telling the truth as to what has happened between my father and I, and about my life.

I am allowing my grandparents to tell their story on here as well, as it directly/indirectly involves me.

Children

2011-04-14T19:53:00.000-05:00

My children are something that I keep near and dear to my heart

They are a part of me, and I see God's blessing in their eyes every night when I smooch and pray with them.

I cannot imagine what it would be like if, in 10 years or so from now, they choose to attend services and believe a false teacher.

If I were to find out that a Sunday school teacher was being allowed to teach heresy, that would be the end of it!

Yes my children are little now, and moving out of a church wouldn't leave a huge mark on them, BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER!

I need to remember that I am the parent, and until they turn 18 it is up to me to protect my child against false teachers and hypocrosy.

Yes, they have friends there, but you know what??

I thought I had friends too
But when I left, the majority of them turned their backs on me and never even spoke to me after I had run away.

I was truly by myself.

I have made a promise to God and to myself and my children, that I will protect them to the best of my God-given ability.
I would rather protect them now,while I still can, than to lose them forever to a belief system that is built on a foundation of nothing but sand.

If we choose to pull our children from a place that is not teaching and living the Bible, the true friends that they have made will last forever.

Mark 9:42

42And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea

April 11, 2011

2011-04-11T17:42:00.000-05:00

I need to say a big THANK YOU to all the people that have sent me the encouraging and uplifting emails/phone calls! Your words of encouragement are more than welcome.
_______________________________________________________________________________

I believe that the Bible commands us to rebuke another brother or sister in Christ.
If my telling my story in blog form is the means by which God wants to use me,then so be it.

Luke 17:3-4 (King James Version)

³Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
⁴And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

I don't want people to think that I hate my father, even though he has done and is doing hurtful things to so many individuals and families.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I want to see him again.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that we have to turn around and be all 'buddy-buddy' with someone.
Although with God ALL things are possible, and I would like to say that it may happen one day with my father and I.

Jesus Himself fellowshipped with unbelievers, he was even called a drunkard because he drank and broke bread with the publicans and sinners.

Luke 7:34 (King James Version)

³⁴The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!

Now, I'm not encouraging any discussion on whether or not we are 'allowed' to drink alcohol, but I am using this as a way to get through to those of you that do not look at the Bible and listen to the Holy Spirit for yourselves.

I believe in church discipline!

BUT, I do not believe that the PVBC(under the direction of Mike Sullivant) has done one single public act of church discipline according to the Bible.
I urge you, to ask out of the many that have been 'church disciplined' in that church, who has been returned into fellowship with the church?

Is that not the sole purpose of church discipline?

Back in 1998, there was a man that was 'church disciplined' for something I THOUGHT was legitimate at the time.
Now that I have spoken to that mans' wife, I found out otherwise.
This man was given an unrealistic ultimatum regarding his job, and was not given the chance to explain himself to the church members.

I was unwise in how I believed things were at that time...Now I know different.
Taking one man's word over the accused and not questioning any of it was wrong!
Something that people need to understand, is that questioning a decision made in the church you are a member is your prerogative.
It doesn't mean you are questioning your pastor's authority,it just means that you are making sure you have made an INFORMED decision.

Many people have said, "Why don't you just go to your parent's home? I'm sure they would welcome you with open arms!"

You have no idea what my home life was like.

I have NEVER felt welcome to go 'home'!
No matter how well you THINK you know your 'pastor Mike', I am NOT WELCOME!

__________________________________________________________________

Over the last couple of days, there have been some comments that have included foul language, inappropriate youtube videos,as well as immature name calling.
As I've said before, I welcome any and all feedback but that does NOT mean I will publish all the comments that come in.
I will not be removing comments for anyone from here on, as I have allowed things (good and bad) to be said about various individuals including myself and my husband Jason.

I reserve the right to edit/not publish certain comments that contain foul and un-Christian language.

A Mother's Heart

2011-04-06T00:07:00.000-05:00

During a meeting at my church this evening, I was reminded of how I need to constantly keep my heart in check.

For those of us in a leadership position, (ie, leading a worship team,playing an instrument in the church service,being a Sunday school teacher,etc) we need to make sure that our hearts are in the right place.
Yes, we may get tired and worn out....

But what does that say about our personal walk with God?

In listening to the message tonight, I immediately thought about my role as a mother.
That is one of the biggest jobs in leadership that we as women have,it is also one that God Himself has blessed many of us with.

As a mother, are we not a leader to our children?

We have been given the MASSIVE responsibility of raising young men and women to love,trust, and serve the Lord God.
Even though at times it may seem as if it was all for nothing...I don't believe it EVER is!
Gods' thoughts are NOT our own, and His ways are NOT our ways!
You never know what kind of impression you have made and are making on your little ones.
Impressions that will last throuout their entire lives. (No matter which road they choose later on in life)

I want to make sure that I stay close to God and His Word, so that I can continue to raise my daughters in His ways.
If my own heart and life are not right with God, how can I raise them the way they need me to?
Yes, I can pretend and fake my way through...But by not having my heart/life in line with where God wants me to be, I will prevent His complete and total blessing on my life and my childrens' lives.

I am saddened by some of the comments that have been made on my blog, and they are not just coming from the PVBC.

I would like to urge ALL of you, that even though most of you (not all) have chosen to remain 'anonymous', God still knows who you are.
HE knows your heart.

Please don't allow all the hurt and bitterness that has been caused by my father and others to consume your lives.
Your children, husbands, wives, and friends need to see how we as Christians can conquer and overcome!!

EPHESIANS 6:12

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world,against spiritual wickedness in high places.

This is nothing new, Christians have been dealing with sin since the beginning of time.
If you let bitterness get to you and eat away at your life, you have chosen to allow Satan to win.
WE DON'T WANT THAT!!

Romans 8:37

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

To My Sibling (ATTENTION Anonymous 10:56am)

2011-03-23T17:58:00.002-05:00

Due to a recent comment made under my last post @ 10:56am, I feel the need to write this to the sibling that is referred to in that comment.

   YOU HAVE A PLACE TO GO!!!

    Do NOT worry about family and friends, you have SO MUCH extended family that will be beside you no matter what! And as for friends, if they ditch you for leaving our father's church they were never your true friends anyway.

    I know more than anyone out there what you will be facing. The verbal/spiritual attack that is headed your way will feel like more than you can handle.

    BE STRONG!! God is not cruel, He will be beside you all the way. We are ALWAYS given a way of escape!

    My family and I don't live very far from you, our names are listed in the white pages under Jason & Laura Sterk in Steinbach,MB.

    I LOVE YOU !!!

To All Those Who Are Reading This Post,

Please watch out for my siblings that are still there, they will need your support now more than ever!

March 13,2011

2011-03-13T17:37:00.002-05:00

I can't help but wonder...

Why has no one cared to check up on my grandparents??? Jerry and Sharon Sullivant?

Why is it, because my father is a pastor of a large church he is 'allowed' to yell and scream at HIS own parents just because they refuse to shun their grand-daughter?

1 Tim. 3:1,8

1 - Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren.
8 - But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Ephesians 6:2-3

2 - Honour they father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
3 - That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Why is it that my father, my mom, and their eldest son, are 'allowed' to send horrible and disrespectful emails/letters to my grandparents with no regard for their health and well-being?

Why was my grandmother unable to even look at one of her great-grandchildrens' face thru a glass storm door?
All because she and my grandpa still have contact with me?

THIS IS WRONG!!!

I have been compared to the prodigal son more times then I could even count.

Have you ever even read about the prodigal son?

Here's something to look up...

Luke 15:11-24

-- The ACTUAL prodigal son, asked for his inheritance from his father, and his father gave it to him.

-- The ACTUAL prodigal son, took that inheritance and wasted it on bad living.

-- The ACTUAL prodigal son, was so poor he had to eat the pigs' food in order to survive.

-- The ACTUAL prodigal son, realized that he had SINNED against his father in asking for his inheritance early and wasting it on crazy living.

-- The ACTUAL prodigal son's father was outside looking out for his son, and while he was still far away his father RAN and hugged him. (He had been waiting for his child to come home)

I have been told, that in order to have 'Family Restoration', I need to repent publicly both in writing and to the church.

How can I repent for telling the TRUTH?!?!?

I confronted my father in front of the deacons and Dr. Ray Dell (former president of the Canadian Baptist Bible College) Our meeting was to ONLY be between the two pastors that accompanied me, myself, and my parents. My father was the one that told the deacons and Dr.Dell to meet with us in his office at the church.
My father is the one that brought our FAMILY issues before the church.

My brothers say that I am full of lies, yet the only person that they will physically TALK to is their dad. They are just believing what one person says is the 'way it is', meanwhile they do not search out the truth.

I'm not expecting there to be a restoration of my family.
I know that sounds harsh, but the trust that I THOUGHT I had in my brothers and my mother has been almost totally destroyed.
They have chosen to be blinded, and I realize that outside of the Holy Spirit doing His work, they will not see the truth nor the error of their ways.

To My Sister

2011-03-06T14:24:00.002-06:00

Dear Julia,

Because you are not allowed to see or speak to me, I wanted to try and reach you this way.

I don't know what all you have been told, but alot of the things that I have done over the past 9 years was to ensure that you were and would be protected.

I miss the nights that you would ask to sleep in my room with me, I remember many nights that I would watch you sleeping and praying that God would not allow me to forget how you looked and the connection we had.
Even though there was almost 13 years between us, I'd like to think that even years cannot seperate the bond that sisters have with eachother.

I remember that you LOVED to play with your dolls and have tea parties with them, that was never really my thing...Horses and anything outside was more me.
I can totally picture you and mom upstairs in the attic having your own little tea party together, I thought that was really cool that my mom had finally had her little princess. :o)

I want you to know, that you are more than welcome to get in contact with us at ANY time. We will welcome you with open arms and our home is yours whenever you need it.

I always have and ALWAYS will love you,

Love, Laura

What Does The Bible Have To Say ?

2011-03-01T12:19:00.002-06:00

Proverbs 27:5-6

5 - Open rebuke is better than secret love
6 - Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

1Timothy 5:19-20

19 - Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses.
20 - Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear

Proverbs 28:9-10

9 - He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be abomination.
10 - Whoso causeth the righteous to go astray in an evil way, he shall fall himself into his own pit: but the upright shall have good things in posession.

1 Timothy 3:1-7

1 - THIS is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
2 - A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
3 - Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
4 - One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
5 - (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
6 - Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.
7 - Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

1 Timothy 3:8

8 - Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;
9 - Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.
10 - And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.
11 - Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.
12 - Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

I have to say, that I am disappointed that people seemed to almost completely ignore what I wrote in my previous post.

Everyone is entitled to have an opinion, and there are many things written in the Bible that ARE left open for interpretation.
HOWEVER, when it comes to the office of both a pastor AND deacon, I believe that it is pretty-well set in stone.

We as brothers and sisters in Christ need to take a step back, and realize that EVERY word that we say in OPINION that may offend another sibling in Christ IS SIN!

Romans 14:21

It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.

When we get caught up in what Bible version is the 'right' one, what denomination is the 'right' one, etc; We will lose sight of the Truth. Which is that Jesus died for ALL mankind!

He was no respecter of persons

Acts 10:34

Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:

We should never make accusations nor ASSUME that we know a persons entire story,

Pastors are human... JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!They have just as much of a sin-nature as ANY one of us.

Even the apostle Paul (who was never married) battled with the flesh.

Romans 7:18-19

18 - For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
19 - For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

To put someone other than God on a pedestal is wrong, if you are going to believe the Bible...You MUST believe ALL parts of it, not just the ones that might agree with your situation.

If you believe that God is telling you something (either in your heart or over a pulpit/teachers' desk) , IT WILL NOT CONTRADICT ANY PART OF THE BIBLE!!!

Re: My Grandparents

2011-02-21T14:33:00.002-06:00

Elder Abuse (Taken from Wikipedia)

Psychological/Emotional: e.g. shouting, swearing, frightening, or humiliating a person. A common theme is a perpetrator who identifies something that matters to an older person and then uses it to coerce an older person into a particular action. It may take verbal forms such as name-calling, ridiculing, constantly criticizing, accusations, blaming, and general disrespect, or non verbal forms such as ignoring, silence or shunning.

I have noticed from some of the comments on this blog, that people have made mention of my grandparents. (my dads' parents)

I HAVE asked them if they would be willing to share their story on here, but I also need to realize that there is a LOT of hurt and pain that is still fresh in their minds.

They have recently received some hurtful and libelous email letters from both my mother, father, and brother Michael... ALL of them claiming that, if my grandparents would only quit having ANYTHING to do with me, then repent for keeping in contact with various other former members of the church as well, then all would be as it was before and they could resume the family relationship.

I and a few others have copies of these emails.

I only hope and PRAY, that my children do not marry someone or become like this towards myself or my husband. To say and do such things that DIRECTLY contradict the Scriptures is hard to imagine.

On Christmas Eve of 1999, my grandparents came out to Steinbach and took me out for lunch.
I had been working at a dairy farm at the time and had received a bonus, after I had purchased something for myself, I chose to buy EVERYONE in my family a Christmas present.
After our lunch, when my grandparents dropped me off at my house, they told me that they would be going to my parents' home for supper that night.
I asked them if they would be willing to take all the gifts I had purchased to my family and they were MORE than happy to do so.

After they took the gifts to my parents' house, things completely blew up in their faces. My parents were SO ANGRY that they would even DARE to come see me. ( I had been 'church disciplined')
I cannot speak for them as to what was said, but they left Canada shortly thereafter.

If you don't believe me....Ask them!

** Feel free to look us up on Facebook **

A little bit of 'Now'

2011-02-13T16:40:00.002-06:00

At around the young age of 3 or 4 years old, I told my mother that I did NOT want to go to hell, and that I wanted to become a Christian and go to heaven when I die.

My mother was the one who led me to Christ that day.

At around 5 years, I 'attempted' to get baptized, but since it was under a bridge somewhere in Michigan and the water was PRETTY SCARY....I TOTALLY chickened out!
I was eventually baptized at the age of 8 or 9 (I'm not 100% on the age, but my parents still have the baptism certificate) at a church in Winnipeg.

Now, to push things up a 'few' years....

I and my husband Jason live on an acreage with 2 horses and several other small animals.
God has seen fit to bless us with our twin daughters (now 5) and a single little princess.(now 2)
We are attending a non-denominational church and are VERY blessed with pastors that love and serve God. I have been able to become a part of one of the worship teams there, and am using my music abilities to serve and worship in the church.

Something that I had realized several years ago, before I had my youngest....was how I would, on occasion, worry about my twins and all the 'what ifs' that I'm sure alot of other mothers out there experience.
It was as if the Holy Spirit slammed my chest as I was driving home from work one afternoon.
How could I....be so bold as to even ASSUME that I could protect my children ALONE?!?!
I was forced to acknowledge, that it was GOD that had blessed me with these little ones, and I needed to allow and trust HIM to protect and shield them.

Do I need to be sloppy? NO!!!
I just need to leave my worry at Jesus' feet and continue to raise my Beautifuls to love their God and serve only Him.
I just needed to realize, that there are things that are WAY out of our control and that EVERYTHING is in HIS ultimate and amazing hands!
Something else that I have noticed, is that I have a MUCH closer bond to my daughters that I probably would not have had I not gone thru such hard times in my past.
There has yet to be a day, where I don't hear the sweet words " I love you." from my three little ones.
Those three words are SO precious to me.
Now, don't get me wrong...I TOTALLY realize that there are days coming, where I will hear less 'friendly' words coming from them, but I hope that I am able to continue talking and keeping ALL subjects open with them.

Just the other day, my little 2 year old said as I was putting her down for her nap, "God is in heaven, and He's in our hearts....He saves ALLLLL the people and is our Saviour!"

Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I don't know what else to say, other than..... GOD IS GOOD!

Tuition Reciepts From Canadian Baptist Bible College

2011-02-08T14:23:00.002-06:00

I was unable to load the file, but if anyone wants to see them, I have copies of the reciepts from the college for the tuition that I paid....In my name.

Simply post your email and I will gladly foward the copies to you.

Laura

!!! ATTENTION !!! (REVISED)

2011-02-07T20:25:00.002-06:00

I realize that I said that I would not be deleting comments....HOWEVER!

I WILL be deleting any and ALL ridiculous comments that do not at all pertain to the content of this blog.

This does NOT help the cause of Christ.

REVISION***

Due to constant harassment ( aka,JASPER, ex-mennonite,etc) I have been forced to approve all incoming comments.

More Facts

2011-02-05T19:08:00.002-06:00

Fact : I am NOT attacking the PVBC, I have just stated the FACTS of the series of events during my trying to 'run away'.

Fact : I dated a different man that my parents APPROVED of for just over a year and a half PRIOR to 'dating' the 'guy' they did NOT approve of. My husband Jason is the ONLY man I have EVER given myself to.

Fact : I taught both violin and piano lessons AS WELL as working full time as janitor for the PVBC. I had to work VERY hard to make ends meet.

Fact : I paid for my car with money that I had saved from mowing lawn and babysitting. My brother Michael also GAVE me a little bit of money towards it as well.

Fact : My parents sold my car for what it was valued at WITHOUT my consent, and gave me a cheque for $75.

Fact : Gordon Harde gave me my first horse as a GIFT, it was not paid for.

Fact : I sent Christmas presents to my ENTIRE family in 1999 and the kids were not allowed to open them. They were never sent back to me.

Fact : My husband Jason has met with my dad on TWO separate occasions. He is not going solely on anything that I have said. HE has experienced Mike Sullivant D.D. for himself.

Fact : I am CONTINUING to serve the Lord to the best of my God given ability within the church I am now a part of.

Fact : I have not, nor WILL I post any comments, I will ONLY be adding posts to this blog.

Fact : I have, and will continue to read any and ALL comments.

Note: Some of these facts are in response to a 6 entry commentator.

Bitterness

2011-02-01T12:21:00.002-06:00

I just wanted to let you all know, that I appreciate any and ALL feedback on my blog.

I don't believe in posting anything until I get full peace from God about what to write next. I know that to some that may sound 'Coo Coo', but that's what I believe.

I am SO thankful that I have been such an encouragement to so many! I had no idea prior to writing my blog as to how God would be able to use my story to help others, and I couldn't do it without HIS help.

I WILL be continuing my story.

I think that in order to even BEGIN to heal, one has to get rid of the bitterness and anger. Yes, it IS easier said than done....I'm not done with my story at ALL yet!
Fighting with bitterness/hurt/pain can sometimes be a daily, lifelong process, but with God's help you can truly be free and unchained.

Hebrews 12:15     KJV
         Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.
A year ago last September, I was able to do something I honestly never thought possible.....I not only forgave my father for all the horrible things he had done, I was able to pray BLESSING on him!!!!
Do you have any idea how awesome that was for me???
Was it easy?   NO
Did it happen overnight?   DEFINATELY NOT!

But it DID happen!

Bitterness is a terrible and destructive thing, it eats away at the soul and can create such scars and hardness of the heart.
Some days are harder than others. I will never forget what has been done to me and what is currently being done to others by my dad in his church, but that doesn't mean that I have to dwell on the negative!

Leaving (Part THREE) * Please Read Parts ONE & TWO *

2011-01-29T22:45:00.002-06:00

Later that night, because it was a Saturday, my dad had to go to the church to study or something.
I asked my mom if I could go out and spend some time with the horses.(I used to do that almost every night prior to living at the college)
She said yes, so on my way out I grabbed my purse and also the portable phone. I hid my purse behind a tree stump in the front yard and took the phone with me out to the horses.

I dialed my friend's number (the one my parents had taken me from) and the line was busy.
Because of the comments my dad had made, I didn't think that I could call the police.
Oh how I WISH I had!
Then, stupid me, I tried dialing my friend again...Only I didn't listen for a dial tone.
There I was, making dialing noises and my PARENTS were talking on the phone!!!!!

"Laura, is that you?" my father asked.
"Yes sir." I replied.
"Were you trying to call your friend?"
"Yes sir."
Then came my moms' voice, "Laura, get in the house RIGHT NOW!"

When I got inside, my mom stood staring at me and (not knowing what else to say,) said, "Go to your room and read your Bible!"
I almost laughed at that, but...I went up to my room, read Psalms 23 (The Lord is my shepherd) and fell asleep.

At church the next morning, I didn't have much to wear except the clothes I had slept in. My mom made me play piano for the church choir,and had me stay with her in the church nursery during part of the service.
The service that I did attend, my grandma and mother sat on either side of me.

That afternoon, I had an impromptu meeting in the ladies washroom with two friends of mine.(one of which was the one that I had gone to the day before)
Neither of them wanted to get involved any more than they already were, it was just too risky for them.
I understood, and yet.......

Unfortunately, as we were exiting the washroom, my mother saw us.

Here is one of TWO lies I made.

Lie #1 - My mom asked me if I was trying to run away again....I said, 'No' (Now, that was OBVIOUSLY a lie because I HAD been trying to find a way out)

Then, I sat in the college van and somewhat 'vented' to a fellow student about how I wanted and NEEDED to get away. Even if it was just for a few days or weeks. I even told this girl that I had tried to get my two friends to help me but they wouldn't.
Well....That so-called friend went straight to my dads' secretary and told her what I had said.
GREAT!!

My dad then called me to his office, and asked me a question.

Here is the second lie I told.

Lie #2 - My dad asked me if I was planning on leaving with my friend again, I replied, 'No'.

He pointed his finger in my face and yelled...."LIAR!!!" "I know for a FACT that you WERE trying to run away again!!!"

I called it and said who I thought had told him, but he refused to tell me how he had found out.
(I found out later from that fellow student how he had known. She DID apologize afterwards for having betrayed my confidence)

After that, my dad continued to yell and berate me.
It was during this 'conversation' that I asked my dad, "So what you're telling me, is that God will NOT tell me what His Will is for MY life unless He tells you first??"
"That's right!" was my father's reply.

That's when he told me I had to make a decision, to choose 'God's way' which was to yield to he and my mom's God given authority and do what they say, or choose the 'way of the transgressor'.
I told him that I couldn't make that decision because I did not believe that what he was doing was right.
He said I had to make that choice anyway, so I told him, "well, I guess I choose the way of the transgressor."
He LOVED that!
He told me that I would now have NO place to go, and not to call any of the other pastors in the area for help because he would just tell them that I had chosen the way of the transgressor and that was that.

He then left to go deal with something involving his church and I went downstairs. I snuck into the secretary's office and made a call to yet another friend. She wasn't at home, but for some reason her dad gave me the number to reach her at.(he must have heard the desperation in my voice when he told me she wasn't home)
I called her and she came to the church parking lot with a different vehicle so that people would not recognize it. I lay on the back seat as we exited the church property.
I stayed with my friend that night, and the next morning the guy who I had a crush on had worked something out with family of his in Winnipeg for me to stay there with them.

They were so nice to me, they bought me some new clothes and underwear (I only had my duster,hat,denim skirt and shirt,cowboy boots and sweats for sleeping)
Words will never be enough for me to express my thankfulness to those people!

A few days into it, THEIR pastor came to the house and told me that I was no longer welcome to stay there.
This pastor told me that he and his wife would be going out to the Winkler area to visit a family member and that they could take me back to my parents.
I said that I didn't want to be 'spanked' again. That pastor then dialed my dad on the phone and had him talk to me.
I can't say I really remember what me OR my father said, my head was just rushing. Where else was I supposed to go???

I finally agreed to go with this pastor and his wife. On the way there, yet another pastor talked to me on a cell and said that they (the other pastors getting into this) just needed me to TRY and reconcile with my dad, that I needed to show THEM that I was trying everything in MY power to make things right.

Once we got back to my dads' church, the other pastor and his wife just left.....they left me there at my dads' church.
We went up to my dads' church office, and my dad sat down and asked me why I had come back.
I said that I was going to try and yield to their authority.
He just looked at me and asked, "Why don't you just say you WILL, not that you'll TRY??"
"Because I don't know if I can." was my response.
"Well...she'll be gone again." he said folding his hands together over his belly and looking at my mom.
That was on a Friday.

That Sunday was quite a blur for me, the afternoon was again filled with my dad yelling and pointing his finger in my face.
Then, he told me I just needed to go and he walked out of his office.
I got up to leave, and my mother stood up sobbing and asked, "Where do you think you're going?"
"Dad just told me to leave, so I'm leaving." I replied.
She started crying again and pointed to my youngest brother Jeremy sleeping on my dads' office couch.
"He loves and adores his big sister,I will do everything in my power to keep you here with him!"
Right as she said that, my dad returned. He walked around his desk and sat back in his chair.
"What's going on?" he asked my mom.
"Mike, you can't just let her leave like this." my mom cried.
"Well, she made her choice...She told us with her own mouth that shes choosing the way of the transgressor." Then he looked at me and said, " What are you waiting for, Bye!" He gave me a sickening smile and waved his hand.

As I was going downstairs to call yet ANOTHER friend, (one who I had tried meeting with in the washroom the weekend before)
One of the deacons' wives stopped me and said she wanted to talk to me.
She asked me if I was planning on leaving again, I said probably. She also asked who I was going to call, I said I wasn't going to say who.
She then asked if she could pray with me about the situation, and I said 'sure'.
As we bowed our heads, she then proceeded to pray that should God see fit, to end my life so that I would not 'continue on in my rebellion'.
As soon as she said those words, I lifted my head up and just stared at her.

THIS WAS CRAZY!!!!!

Pretty much as soon as she stopped her 'praying' I went downstairs. There was a phone in the hallway and I used it to call my friend.
We could only talk in 2 or 3 minute intervals because I didn't want anyone to know I was planning on leaving.
My friend had an AWESOME idea and told me that she would call our former youth pastor and his wife and see if they could somehow help.(they had been kicked out of the church prior)
After several phone calls back and forth, the plan was set in motion.
As I put on my cowboy hat and duster, I glanced back at my little brother sitting by the stairs. Then I walked out.
I walked down the street and hid behind a tree as my youth pastor and his wife picked me up.

I WAS FINALLY SAFE!

They took me back to the college so that I could get my clothes,but the locks had already been changed. They then brought me out to Steinbach to Pastor (Dr.) Dave Millar's home.
Doc Millar and his family, allowed me to stay with them for many months until I was able to move out on my own.

I was able to start a new life.

Leaving (Part TWO) * Please Read Part ONE first *

2011-01-29T21:10:00.002-06:00

The night that the 'staff member' had tried to help me, I received a phone call from him.
He had called my dad and BEGGED him to allow someone for me to confide in. First he (staff member) tried to get his wife to be allowed, he even tried to make it so that my own mother could talk to me....
All were shot down, this 'staff member' sounded so sad and disappointed on the phone as he talked to me.

I don't know how long I cried that night in the dorm.

The next morning (Saturday), we had classes right after breakfast.
During one of the breaks between classes, I was sitting in the student lounge with a couple other people when the 'staff member' came and sat in the chair beside mine.
He asked me how I was doing,.... I just looked at him and almost burst into tears.
He then asked me if I thought I was going to leave, I told him I didn't know but, maybe.
He told me that although his hands were tied there at the college, if I chose to not be a part of it anymore, he would no longer be bound by the 'laws' of my dad.
The 'staff member' then told me that he would rather I NOT leave the college,but that if I did he and his wife would be there for me, and I could call them any time.

It was that particular 'staff member's' class after that meeting. As everyone was getting seated in the classroom, I saw the 'guy' I was interested in rush in, grab his books off the table and rush out.
I looked at the 'staff member' and asked if I could be excused from the class.
He looked me in the eye and said, "I don't think that would be a good idea."
I just looked at him and my eyes filled with tears
He then looked back over at me and said, "well, you have a perfect attendance, I'll allow it."

I shot out of that place as fast as I could.
As soon as I got back to my dorm, I called the 'guy' to see why he had collected his books so fast.
He told me that he had now been told to leave, so he was packing his bags.
I apologized to him for being the reason for his having to leave. And honestly, had I been ANY other girl everything would have been just fine for him.
He then asked ME what I was going to do.
I said I didn't know, but that I was going to be leaving no matter what.

I remembered a friend of mine that lived out of town, she had said that if I ever needed a place to stay I could call her.
I got out the phone book and called her at her parent's place.
Everything was fine for me to go there, she would meet me in Miami and from there we would go to her parents'.
While I was out with my friend getting propane for the BBQ, my dad called my friends' mom. (I had forgotten to close the phone book back at the dorm.)
Her mom said that I was welcome to stay there as long as I needed to. My dad said that he would like to come there and 'just talk' to me.
After my friend and I got back from town, I was talking on the phone with this 'guy'. My friend rushed into the room I was in and said, "Your dad is on his way here!!!"

It was only a matter of minutes, I barely had time to react when both my mom and dad were in the house.
I was still on the phone with this 'guy' when my mom opens the door to the room and tells me to "c'mon, we're going home."
I just looked at her and shook my head no.
My mom just looked right back at me and glared, "is that the 'guy' on the phone??" I nodded yes.
She then put her finger on the phone base and hung up on him.

I had no choice but to comply. My dad 'apologized' for my having involved them in this matter, and hoped that it had not ruined their evening.
Then with a parent holding each arm, they escorted me out of the house.
My mom stayed in my car with me while my dad drove ahead of us in his car.

Once we reached their house, the three of us went up to my parent's bedroom. My dad then gave my brother Mike Jr. the keys to my car and told him to park it up nice and tight to the bumper of the family van, and to park my dads' car up against the bumper behind my car so that I could not get out.
My dad then looked at me and said, "Don't even THINK of taking your car, the insurance is in MY name!"
"And don't you try riding your horse outta here either! I'll have the RCMP on you so fast you won't know what happened!!!"

Then, he asked me a question.
"If this 'guy' were to show up here in his truck and say, 'Laura, get in the truck,we're going to [province] to elope and get married' would you go with him?"
I looked him square in the eye and said, "Yes sir."

He then told me to lay across the bed and proceeded to hit me 7 times with a wooden spoon.

That was it.....I didn't shed a tear while he hit me,I was DONE!

I then sat back down in the chair in my parents' room and my dad asked me that question again.

"If this 'guy' were to show up here in his truck and say, 'Laura, get in the truck,we're going to [province] to elope and get married' would you go with him?"
Again, I looked him in the eye and replied, "Yes sir."

Then, to my horror he looked over at my mother who was laying on their bed 'sobbing' and said,
"Well, looks like we'll have to bury her."
I just sat there and stared at him....What did THAT mean???
Even my mom looked up at him and said, "WHAT?!?!"
"We can't allow this to go on any longer." was his answer.

He then got on the bed and laid a hand on my mom's shoulder and proceeded to pray that God would end my life and or the 'guy's' so that we would not continue on in our 'rebellion'.

Leaving (Part ONE)

2011-01-29T17:19:00.002-06:00

When I was about 9 years old, there were some missionaries that came to my dads' church. They were there to raise support to go to the mission field of Africa.
I remember going forward and surrendering my life to go to the mission field of Africa as a missionary doctor.
My parents were SO proud of me!

After a few years, I found out that to become a doctor, you have to go through at LEAST 7 years of college/university. WELL....That was DEFINATELY not going to happen!
So, I chose to change my future profession to becoming a nurse.
(The Grace Hospital was then offering a 2 year nursing course)

As the years went by, my thoughts were straying further and further away from Africa. I wasn't straying away from doing God's Will, I just no longer felt that Africa was where He wanted me to go.
Not to mention the fact, that when I was 17, the Grace Hospital shut their entire nursing program down. (to me, that was God just confirming that He didn't want me there)

Then I reached a MAJOR dilemma....
How would I be able to tell my mom?? I would hear her telling other people(esp. other missionaries) that her daughter was 'called to Africa'.
I just KNEW it would break her heart if her dream for me were never to be realized.

In January of 1998, I broke off my relationship with one of my best friends. He and I had dated for 19 months, but I just knew it wasn't meant to be.
He and I were more like a brother and sister than people who would one day get married and start a family.
My heart was broken knowing I had hurt him so much.
My mother was extremely disappointed over the break-up, but she had even looked at me the one day and stated, "He's not the right one,is he?" she could just tell by the look on my face.

(By the way, I am still good friends with him.)

During the summer of 1998 I developed a crush on a guy that had already been at my dad's school the year prior, but my parents absolutely detested him.
When I asked them why they were SO against my having a relationship with him, my dads' response was, "How come you can't just take our word for it and leave it alone?"
At 18, I told my parents that I felt that I was more than old enough to be told the reason as to why this guy was 'so wrong' for me.
To this day, I never received an answer.

My parents grounded me a couple times that summer for talking to this 'guy', but as fall drew close, my parents called me to their room and told me that because I was going to be attending the same classes as this 'guy', that I would have to talk to him. Therefore, I would now be allowed to talk to him 'only regarding school/class'.

It had NOT been my choice to attend Canadian Baptist Bible College, I had wanted to attend Pensacola Christian College but because I could not afford to pay for the tuition myself and my parents did not allow me to wait and work for a year, I was forced to attend their college.
On one of the first days of 'school', this 'guy' and I were talking about STUDY AND CLASS stuff and my dads' then assistant pastor of his church was standing within a few feet of us.
I knew that he could hear us talking, and everything that was said but I wasn't too worried as we were only talking about school related things.

I don't remember the exact amount of time, but shortly after that my dad called me into his office at the church. He told me that his assistant pastor had seen me and this 'guy' talking. I told him that yes, we HAD been talking, but only about school stuff.
He told me that I was a liar, and that I had misused my privileges at the school. I was no longer ALLOWED to talk to this 'guy'.

Because my parent's house was approx. 40 minutes from the college, I was able to move into the girls dorm. I thought that I had FINALLY achieved some freedom from the pressures of living in my dads' house. That I was finally able to have some sense of individuality. To not be constantly under his 'thumb' so to speak.

I was sorely mistaken!

After being told by my dad that I was under NO circumstances allowed to talk to this 'guy', I was actually shocked! Yes, I did think it was crazy.
After a while, we (the 'guy' and I) didn't care if someone saw us talking. We should have! We were both called into seperate meetings with the disciplinary commitee and each given demerits.

The then president of the college called me into his office and said that although he didn't nessecarily agree with it, because my dad was also the pastor AND his boss...he was forced to comply.
And he advised me to do the same.
Eventually, because this 'guy' and I were caught TALKING again...I was campused(not allowed to participate in ANY and ALL extra-curricular activities) and the 'guy' was told he could finish out that semester but could not come back in January.

I was becoming more and more stressed. I felt as though my entire world was closing in around me, that I no longer had any friends that I could truly confide in. The few people that I THOUGHT were there for me, would run straight to my dad and tell him.

During this time, I was working full time as janitor of the PVBC, taking violin and piano lessons, teaching violin and piano, as well as taking on a full course load at the school. I would be up early, and up late with little to no break.

There was an awesome man that worked on staff at the college who saw that I was about to burn out.
He offered to be a listening ear and possibly counsel me. When he asked, I jumped at the chance!!!
FINALLY there might be someone I could confide in that would honor my privacy.

I was wrong

The day that we were to meet, I went into this 'staff member's' office, he told me not to say a word.
He proceeded to inform me, that my dad had taken away his ability to honor my privacy. That EVERY word that I spoke was to be told to my dad.
As I started to cry, the 'staff member' told me that in all his years of working in and with colleges/schools he had NEVER encountered this type of situation.

My heart felt as though it was being ripped out of my chest, I had no where to turn...No one to talk to.
My father had succeeded in taking away every ounce of freedom I had.

2011-01-23T22:59:00.002-06:00

There have been many mis-understandings and rumors surrounding my running away from 'home' (I put this in quotations because it is no longer my home)

I would like to put some of these to rest.

-It has been said,that I "Ran off to [province] to be with a [guy I had a crush on]"
* I left in November of 1998 and did not see this *guy* until February 1999. He and I only dated for about 6 months before it was over.

-It has been said, that I failed a polygraph test.
*I actually never took a polygraph test, such things are not accepted in a court of law and they are VERY fallible.
* Whether innocent or not, a polygraph could show something completely opposite of what the person in question is trying to prove/disprove.

-It has been said, that my parents paid for the few months that I was attending Canadian Baptist Bible College (non-accredited school)
*I was a full-time janitor for the Pembina Valley Baptist Church for the duration of my time at the college, therefore I was able to pay my OWN way. (I have the reciepts to prove it)

-It has been said, that I 'chose the way of the transgressor'
* My father put his finger in my face and told me I "Had to make a choice, either you choose God's way(which is to obey your mother and I and our authority over you and honor our decisions for you), or you choose the way of the transgressor!"
When I told him that I could NOT make that choice because I thought that what he was doing wasn't right, he yelled at me again and said "you HAVE to make your choice!!"
Through my tears, I looked him in the eye and said, "I guess I choose the way of the transgressor."

These are only a few of the things that have been said about me and my situation. I do NOT wish to harm the 'cause of Christ', but that is the very reason I have chosen to write this blog.

Sin is sin, and we need to recognize it as such!

Lying is a sin, and yet it is treated as though its an acceptable thing to do?!?!
According to the Bible, lying is included with murder as an EQUAL sin.

Revelation 21:8 (KJV)

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

I am VERY happy with where I am right now, do I have things I need to work on in my personal life? ABSOLUTELY!!!
We are ALL at different levels of maturity in our growth and walk with God.

This isn't about 'right fighting', this is just me...Laura Kay Sterk (Sullivant) putting myself out there and letting people know MY side of the story.

My First Day

2011-01-19T14:56:00.002-06:00

Today is my first day at writing a blog.
I have NO idea how or even IF this will work, but I thought I should at least try.

The last few months have been a HUGE challenge for me, in ALL aspects...(ie., physically,spiritually,emotionally.)

I can't help but find it interesting, (and a little sad) when I hear about people having 'issues' with their siblings. I haven't been able to see my siblings since 1999.
People have no idea what really matters in a brother/sister relationship.
To experience weddings, to watch eachother's children grow up, to have your children be close to their cousins is something SO MANY people take for granted.

I am thankful...that my daughters are not quite old enough to think of the right questions to ask, but its only a matter of time.
I'm sure they've noticed, but they're quite about the fact that they don't know any of their cousins from my side, that they've never met their aunts or uncles...or get gifts from anyone during Christmas or birthdays.

My personal challenge right now, is to continue to raise my girls in a stable/balanced environment. I don't EVER want them to feel rejected or unloved by their mother or father. I want to raise them to love God and serve Him to the best of their abilities, and to stick to their beliefs no matter what garbage the world might throw at them.

Many people have asked me or made comments about how I am able to continue loving and serving God?

Well, there is ONE good thing that I have inherited from my dad, STRONG WILL and STUBBORNESS!!! LOL!!
I know what I believe, and why I believe it...If anyone can prove to me that I am wrong, then I am willing to change my line of thinking.
It wasn't God who abused me as a child, it wasn't God who treated me with anger, it wasn't God who told me I would never succeed in life.

GOD gave me the courage to run, even though I had NO idea who to trust or where to go.
GOD gave me the wonderful friends and friends of friends that assisted me in the worst of times.
GOD has given me talents and abilities that no man could EVER take away from me.
GOD has ensured that I HAVE succeeded in the things that I do in spite of being 'prayed over' that I would die

I guess the jist of my story, is that you should be thankful for ALL that you have...No matter how small it may seem.

No, I KNOW I'm far from perfect...We all stumble and fall, and we're ALL at different levels of maturity. I just have to 'stick to my guns'! And know that no matter what, GOD is there for me...Even if no one else is!

Alrighty, there's my first post! YAY!!