Thursday, August 18, 2011

August 18, 2011

The last several months have been VERY interesting for me, to say the least!
When I started this blog, I kind of figured it would ruffle a few feathers but I had NO idea as to how big it would really get.

I can honestly say, in spite of the threats and 'insinuations' of lawsuits and what-not, that I do not regret anything that I have and will write on my blog.

This is my life and my story, no one can take that away from me.

Now that I have children of my own, I cannot imagine NOT standing up for what is right.

Not too long ago, I had one of my daughters ask me why I ran away from home when I was younger.  It was really the first time that this particular subject had come up.
It didn't take long, but after a short (vague) explanation, another one of my girls piped up..."So that's why we're not supposed to talk to anyone we don't know...Because you want to keep us safe!"

I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief.....After somewhat fearing how and what I would say to my children regarding my family 'situation', my super smart girls 'got it'!

Neither my father,mother, nor any of my siblings have met my daughters.
I would LOVE for my mom to be able to meet her twin grand-daughters...But that will never happen if I'm not allowed to be there.

I know that my mom always wanted to have twins as her last children, and to not be able to share my joys and trials of actually having twins myself gets to be quite hard.

Not a day goes by that I don't wish I had my mom to turn to...To share my inner-most thoughts and feelings with.

I love my mom VERY MUCH and no matter what, that will never change.
Even though I cannot understand how she can turn away from her oldest daughter, I do not and cannot fault her for that.  She doesn't know any different.

Even though it has been almost 13 years since I 'ran away', the pain is still there. It's just a matter of how you deal with that pain that God will use you.




25 comments:

  1. The amount of spiritual abuse your mom has had to endure is so sad. I wish God would come talk some sense into your Dad. I feel so sorry for you.

    Found some interesting stuff on www.stufffundieslike.com

    CONTRADICTIONS:

    I love you, and that’s why I hate you.

    I’m totally separated from the world so I can reach the world.

    I’m have a mind that is so chaste and pure that I constantly obsess about sin and impurity

    ...I’m humble and I’m so proud of that fact.

    I have total freedom in these chains.

    I am at peace in Jesus so I fight endlessly with family.

    I study to show myself approved through honorary doctorates and fake degrees.

    I have the joy of the Lord which is why I’m so angry.

    I am your servant leader which is what makes you my slave.

    I am a fundamentalist who can’t remember the last time I actually cared about, talked about, or preached about the real fundamentals.

    THE FUNDAMENTALIST BAPTIST RULEBOOK:

    1. I am right and you are wrong. Always.

    2. Unity Means Agreeing With Me That My Pastor Is Right.

    3. If you cannot win an argument with logic you must simply outlast your opponent. Once he gives up, declare victory.

    4. A man is to be as much of a leader of his own house as his pastor will let him be.

    5. Thou shalt not speak out against other fundamentalists on any subject that really matters.

    6. Keep disputes as trivial as possible lest you risk having your own dirty laundry exposed.

    7. We believe in individual soul liberty - although we’ve never seen a good reason for anybody to actually use it.

    8. When a pastor gets caught doing wrong his job is to deny, deny, deny. Your job is to back him up to the bitter end.

    9. In a business meeting all in favor of the pastor’s motion shall signify by saying “aye.” All opposed shall shut up if they know what’s good for them.

    10. Anything that annoys the pastor annoys Jesus too.

    11. If you can’t find a Scripture verse that proves your point, substitute a quote from another fundamentalist instead. It’s practically as good.

    12. Bad things that happen to me and mine are persecution and attacks of Satan. Bad things that happen to you and yours are God’s judgment for your sinful ways.

    13. Always assume your fellow fundamentalists have the best possible motives for their actions. Always assume everyone else has the worst possible motives for theirs.

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  2. Still praying for you...and your family! Let's keep trusting the Lord.

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  3. Lovely post, Laura.

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  4. john and heather dyckAugust 18, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    having missy, her husband pat and our grand-daughter Emily staying with us this last 1 and 1/2 months has been the joy of my and johns life. i cannot imagine that any one of them could do something that would make me not want to be with them or have them here. i can only pray that my pride would never take over like that. Laura, God has given you the strength, love and endurance to be the BEST mother you can be and you are proving His strength in you. as a mother and grandmother i look at you and see very essence of mother-hood and Gods love. we pray for you and know that God is right there with you by your side.

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  5. Yes, Laura, this is your story and you should not let anyone steal the freedom to share it from you! Are the threats and insinuations still coming? I am glad that the Lord has given you this avenue to share. I think you must be helping more people than you even realize. I have a very good friend who attends the pvbc. She said that not so long ago they had a guest speaker who had blasted the church regarding unforgiveness. This friend of mine had later said to her husband that she hoped PMS would take it to heart and begin to practice it. I am glad that you are able to share some age-appropriate stuff with your girls regarding your situation. Please keep your story coming. May the Lord bless you as you do. Signed Freely Give.

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  6. Laura, you sharing your love for your mother, and how much you wish she was a part of your children's lives, brought tears to my eyes. Even though you may not see or speak to her at this time, the love you feel is very real, and no one can rob you of that. You mentioned that not a day goes by that you don't think of your mother. Continue to hold her close to your heart. No one can take that love away.

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  7. Laura, I too was blessed by the way you were saying that you loved your mom very much and that you longed to have her in your life to enjoy your girls. I can't even imagine what that must feel like since I still have my mom. She absolutely lived for the grandkids when they were really young. Do you know whether your mom would be able to read a letter if you sent her one? Would she be able to respond, or would she have to respond in a way that your dad would like her to? I am sure her heart must long and ache for you just like yours does. May the Lord heal both of you. Keep looking to the Lord for He gives us the desires of our heart and he sees your desire.

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  8. Laura, you're talking about how you "ran away." But, from your earlier posts I gather your dad actually threw you out, and closed the door to you. Quoting:

    [Then, he told me I just needed to go and he walked out of his office.
    I got up to leave, and my mother stood up sobbing and asked, "Where do you think you're going?"
    "Dad just told me to leave, so I'm leaving." I replied.

    "Well, she made her choice...She told us with her own mouth that she's choosing the way of the transgressor." Then he looked at me and said, " What are you waiting for, Bye!" He gave me a sickening smile and waved his hand.]

    It's obvious Mike didn't know how else to deal with the loss of control. This way, he is still totally in control, by holding you at bay. And he loves to keep the relationship this way... so he can use you as an example in keeping the rest of the family members under his control. I really wonder how much freedom and joy in Christ your siblings and mother actually enjoy daily. Are they perhaps driven more by fear than by faith?

    And Chantellen, God has and is talking sense into Mike through His Word and people. Obviously, the heart is very hard.

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  9. Oh Laura!
    Just keep on keeping on. God has not left the throne.
    Tina

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  10. Laura, I can't believe that your dad gave you "a sickening smile and waved his hand" at you as he said "bye." How did he discipline all of you kids growing up? Was it ever with kindness and respect, or always harsh and in anger? I do feel sorry for your mom as well. I am sure deep in her heart she would love to see you and the kids, but for the sake of peace she is siding with your dad. I wonder how often she has dreamed about you wondering how you look by now and how the twins must look. I can't help but wonder if she doens't have a deep hole in her heart about the whole situation. I also wonder if perhaps she doesn't resent you dad for doing what he is doing. I just prayed for your family that ther would be reconcilation. But, I also know that it won't come until your dad will see how unapproachable and controlling he is, and till he chooses to let go of that and become open and loving towards you. I pray that the Holy Spirit will convict him and heal you.

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  11. You all keep saying that Laura was an adult and her dad had not right to tell her what to do, then you go and say that he should have kept his dicaplene of her private(in the family). and when is a church matter public?

    maybe her dad should have dicaplened her more before she turned 18.

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  12. To anonymous 10:49
    Love will always prevail. Dictatorship has never worked. God gave us a freewill to choose , it is not up to a pastor to control the sheep. He is to lead by example. The Baptist in Winkler teach grace, but most do not have a revelation of it. If they did this mess would have stopped thirteen years ago. Laura is longing for her mother. Please pray for restoration. My mother has dementia and am no longer able to go to her for advice. I truly feel Lauras heart, give her the dignity she deserves.Stop the bashing, it is not Godly. Tina from Winkler.
    Tina

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  13. john and heather dyckSeptember 1, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    Tina you are SO correct!!! our example as parents is Christs attitude towards us. When Christ hung on the cross, each and everyone of us and our sins flashed before Him. He bore our sins and our iniquities because He loved us. The behavior of MS is not Christlike at all. It is the opposite. it is one of control and domination. No where in the Bible do you ever hear or read of Christ doing that to His children. As a parent, when my children did things that i knew were not in accordance with Gods Word, i did not try to control their (i did talk to them) actions or demean them or pull or push them. I as a parent got on my knees and prayed for them. knowing God would hear me and understand how much my children meant to me and how much i desired them to do right in Gods eyes. (NOT MINE). God answered my prayers, my children love the Lord and we all (including our son-in-laws) have an amazing relationship. We all have SO much more to learn and SO much closer to get with our Lord, but, God makes that happen as long as me as a parent are willing to put them in Gods hands and trust God to work His miracles in them. Its not about us as parents, it is about us as Gods children knowing that God will answer our parental prayers!!!!

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  14. Thank-you SO much, Heather, for your comment/testimony!! Those of us in the "letting go" stage with our children need that encouragement and reminder.
    ~me

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  15. To Tina from Winkler. Your post was so honest, true and insightful. You are right about grace. If all we do is hear about it and never receive a revelation about it, it won't do us any good. Also you are right about the pastor leading by example. If a pastor is unapproachable, he will always stand above "his" people. But, if he would come down to their level, then people would be able to learn from him and relate to him. At the people's level there would be no pedestal to fall off of.
    On another note. Laura do you think your dad reads all these blogs? Do you think that he anonomysly blogs here as well? I pray for conviction to come upon him that he will be willing to put his pride aside and put you and your children first for once. Signed another Tina

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  16. is this Tina the same Tina that runs the bar in Winkler? also I hear Tina saying the Michael Sullivant needs to lead by example and come down to the peoples level. I do not know of one leader that ever led from the middle of the pack. that is called a mob. can some one tell me the definition of forgiveness? The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek his or her forgiveness in order for the relationship to be restored.

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  17. I've been following and supporting Laura and her story. After hearing another side to this story, I'm wondering why, Laura, you don't get to the heart of your experience, and get it out?

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  18. In reading the comments on this blog of those who seem to support Mike Sullivant, I cannot believe that these people call themselves Christians yet choose to set a pastor as their LEADER rather than Jesus Christ, the God Man on whom this religion was founded. Please people of PVBC realize that you are to serve Christ and Him only by studying His word, allowing the Holy Spirit to convict you of sin, righteousness and judgement and by practically applying the teachings found in His word, the Bible, into you daily lives. Mike is just a man and all men have sinned and continue to sin while on this side of the veil. Remember a pastor is a biblical office but it is only one of many roles and parts of the body. He is not your leader, Jesus is. We are commanded to study to show ourselves approved and also to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. Please do not allow Mike to make you feel like you are in subjection to him, he is just a man, Christ is God. Jesus is our ONE and ONLY true leader, He will NOT share His glory with another. Who is your faith truly in?

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  19. To September 6, 2011 12:36am. No, I am not Tina who runs the bar in Winkler. I am certain that the city of Winkler holds quite a number of Tinas since it is a Mennonite community. Anyway, who said anything about a leader leading from the middle? Of a pack?? A mob?? It sounds like you are describing the church body to a pack of wolves and/or to mobsters. The Bible describes the church to sheep--not to wolves or mobsters. I was saying that a pastor should not be over the people in that he is to be more honored. He should come down to the people's level so that they can relate to him. That he will walk side by side with them as he teaches them. If he is always looked up to as being so much more spiritual, how will the people ever feel like they measure up to him. The reason PMS is being put on such a pedastal (and he loves it up there) is because the people look more to him rather than to Christ, just as the last blogger pointed out.
    Still to September 6 12:36am. First you said the crazy thing about a pack and a mob and then in the next sentence you ask us to define forgiveness. What were you trying to say by your whole blog? I am still trying to figure out what you were even trying to say.
    If you are one of those who defends Sullivant and things that he is "way up there," then you have made yourself an idol. You do know what God thinks of idols, don't you? Signed Tina

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  20. To September 6, 2011 12:36am. You say that pastors should not lead from the middle of a pack. A pack of what?? The church body is not a pack! Neither is it a mob! We are compared to sheep in the Bible. And...where was Jesus when He was teaching. He was in among the people. He had them gathered around them meaning He was very approachable. He came down to our level so that we could come up to His! If you are one of those who think Sullivant is way "up there" then you have made an idol of him and so have alot of other people.
    Still to September 6 12:36am. Then right in almost the same breath, you ask about forgiveness. How did that topic relate at all to the subject of pastors leading by example?? I don't get it since you seem to know the definition of forgiveness quite well. Do explain. And no, I am not Tina who runs the bar in Winkler. Signed Tina

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  21. Today I heard a mesage about the fact that we are not to put our loyalty in a pastor or a man but our loyalty should be to God. This came from a conservative, fundamental Bible believing Baptist Church. PVBC's constitution states that we are to be loyal to the pastor. What a difference in teaching! Just proof that not all Baptists teach the same thing.

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  22. Thought this would brighten you day, found this local family on blogspot. This is a strong example of what we all need to be doing for Jesus Christ. Please support them with your page views and comments. God bless you Laura and your family.
    Click Here

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  23. Hi Laura. I am just wondering reading your story whether you always knew that when you would grow up and want to break free from you dad's tight control, that you would have to "run away" as you put it? In reading your blog, I understand that PMS really kicked you out. You say that you long to be able to share with your mom about your daughters and what you experience in your life. I think she also longs for you but fears your dad and therefore seeks what brings peace in the home. I can't think otherwise of her for it is not natural for a mother not to want to be with her kids and her grandkids. But, thankfully the Lord knows your heart and He says that He gives you the desires of your heart, so I believe that good will come out of this. I have a really good verse that I want to share with you. Years ago when my daughter was going through a very difficult time in 12th grade when her best friend ditched her, I was away on a church conference when she called me in distress. I asked the Lord how I could console her when He gave me Job 42:10. This is what it says, "and the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his frineds: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before." God did just that. My daughter started to pray for the friend who had hurt her so bad, and in no time the Lord gave her more friends than she had ever had before. I am sure you pray for our family so just know that God wants to restore "double for your trouble!" May God bless you as you bless your family even as Job did.

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  24. Laura, I was wondering since you haven't been able to see your mom and siblings for 13 years, whether you think you would still recognize them? Do you even remember what they use to look like? It pains me to think of the loss that you live with everyday simply because your "dad" refused to set you free to live your life instead of control your life. I don't know how the people at pvbc think of him as being a godly man. Actions speak so much louder than words do, and his actions show that his heart is far from the truth. I'll leave you with Mark 11:24. Actually 13 years ago when my husband and I left a certain church, I stood on that verse for six months believing the Lord would lead us where He wanted us and He did. That verse says that believing we shall receive, so I believe that the Lord will give you the desires of your heart.

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  25. To: Anonymous @ 10:17 P.M.

    Laura has decided not to respond to comments, but I can answer your question. Laura has seen pictures of most of her siblings within the last 3 years or so. I think it was about 3 years ago that I took in a service at PVBC. Laura's family allowed me to take a family picture. I think all but 2 siblings were there as well as both of her parents. As well, now a days, with the internet pictures can be found if you look. A few years ago, when I showed her the picture I took, she was surprised at how much they had changed.

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